Hey, They Call Me Connie…

They say discipline is a lost art. I’d argue it’s more like the overachieving friend we invite to brunch but avoid calling for help because—let’s face it—she’s probably already running a marathon, building a side hustle, and raising a perfectly behaved toddler. But if there’s one thing I’ve learned as a solo parent, it’s this: discipline isn’t the antagonist of freedom; it’s the architect of it.

And yes, that applies to relationships, too—both the kind with others and, more importantly, the one with yourself.

The Truth About Discipline

Here’s a fun stat for you: women who practice self-discipline are 33% more likely to achieve their goals than those who rely solely on motivation. Why? Because motivation is fickle. It’s that flaky friend who swears they’ll show up, only to ghost when you really need them. Discipline, on the other hand, is the dependable one who arrives early, stays late, and brings snacks for everyone.

Now, let’s pivot to relationships. As a solo parent, the temptation to put everyone else’s needs ahead of your own is strong—like, “leave the last slice of pizza for the kids even though you’re starving” strong. But here’s the catch: if you don’t maintain discipline in your own life—spiritually, mentally, financially, and yes, sexually—you’ll end up burnt out, bitter, and incapable of giving your best to anyone.

Happy Mom, Happy Kids (It’s Science, Darling)

Let’s talk about the kiddos for a second. Studies show that children of happy mothers are 60% more likely to report being happy themselves. Why? Because kids aren’t just watching—they’re absorbing. Your joy, your peace, your ability to laugh when the dishwasher floods the kitchen (again)—these aren’t just moments; they’re lessons.

According to a study published in the Journal of Happiness Studies (yes, that’s a real thing), kids raised by content, disciplined mothers perform better academically, have stronger emotional resilience, and are less likely to grow up thinking adulthood is a never-ending to-do list.

Discipline is Your Superpower

So, how do we wield this superpower without becoming the human equivalent of a military academy? Here’s how I see it:

1. Lifestyle Discipline: You can’t pour from an empty cup—or a chipped one, for that matter. Prioritize your health, even if it means sneaking in a workout while your kid reenacts Frozen for the 97th time.

2. Spiritual Discipline: Whatever grounds you—prayer, meditation, long talks with the universe—make it non-negotiable. You’re not just centering yourself; you’re modeling mindfulness for your children.

3. Sexual Discipline: Let’s keep it real: not everyone deserves access to your energy. Channel that power into yourself and watch your confidence soar.

4. Mental Discipline: Therapy isn’t a luxury; it’s maintenance. (I call mine my “life mechanic.”)

5. Financial Discipline: A budget is just boundaries for your wallet. And boundaries are sexy.

6. Relational Discipline: Not every call needs to be answered, not every text deserves a reply, and not every relationship deserves your bandwidth.

The Solo Parent Edge

Here’s the kicker: as solo parents, we already have a head start. We’re juggling schedules, navigating tantrums, and building empires on four hours of sleep. Discipline is woven into the fabric of our days. It’s what gets the kids to school, pays the bills, and reminds us to floss.

Your Kids Are Watching

When you prioritize discipline, you’re not just changing your life—you’re shaping theirs. You’re showing your children that self-control isn’t a punishment; it’s a pathway to freedom. You’re teaching them that happiness isn’t handed to us—it’s cultivated through intentional living.

And most importantly, you’re proving that even when life doesn’t look the way you imagined, it can still be breathtakingly beautiful.

So, you, the mom with the messy bun and the audacity to believe she can do it all (and maybe nap later)—stay disciplined, stay joyful, and know that every small act of self-care is a love letter to your future self—and to your kids.

Now, excuse me while I sip my caffeinated concoction and remind myself that discipline includes not finishing the leftover mac and cheese for breakfast.